What was meant to be a seven day stretch at sea – anyway our longest of the whole voyage – turned out to be ten days. Early on the morning of the day we were due to hit land at last on the Polynesian island of Nuka Hiva – one of the highlights of the trip – I heard the voice of the captain over the PA in the corridor outside my cabin and went out to hear what he was saying. With a mixture of disappointment, concern and excitement, the news was that we needed to answer a distress call. The excitement diminished when I discovered it meant we would be by-passing Nuka Hiva altogether.

And what was the SOS all about? A fifty foot yacht with a crew of three from San Francisco had somehow managed to lose both masts and their guard rails. Our enormous vessel with its two thousand passengers and crew were sent to their rescue as they claimed there was a serious injury and we had a doctor and medical centre on board. These are the rules of the sea and must be followed.

As a result, at around 7.30 am, instead of disembarking on the beautiful paradise island of Nuka Hiva, we were 110 nautical miles off course and rendezvousing with the damaged yacht, the Crisamova. We crowded onto the decks to watch the rescue. It turned out they had no injuries, refused any medical assistance, accepted fuel supplies and mugs of coffee, then limped away, after taking multiple photos of their rescue ship – no doubt for their Instagram page! For us it was a massive loss – when will I ever get another chance to visit Nuka Hiva? And for the poor Nuka Hivans expecting the lucrative arrival of a cruise ship it will have been a massive loss of earnings. Cruise ships rarely stop there as it is anchorage only and can only be visited via tender.

Instead, we pressed on to Tahiti, arriving that evening.

We arrived in Papeete, Tahiti at 7pm. I can’t begin to tell you what joy it was to escape the confines of the ship – which I had long been referring to as The Death Star. I went off with my friend Pauline, the onboard art teacher, in search of grilled shrimp or lobster in garlic – but we had to settle for beer, moules et frites. The café where we ate had internet, but it had failed – like all the establishments – under the strain of hundreds of cruise ship passengers desperate to check their emails. Our long Pacific passage had been entirely devoid of internet access – a complete satellite black hole. It was a hot and humid night and I was soon soaked to the skin – I later discovered this was a sign of worse to come.

My excitement about the next day following in the footsteps of Fletcher Christian, the crew of the Bounty and Gaugin, was soon dashed. No sooner was I back in my cabin, than a long night and day of running between bed and bathroom ensued. So yet another island missed. I wasn’t doing too well with French Polynesia! My only consolation was that the weather in Tahiti, as viewed through my cabin window, was rather overcast.

It’s probably worth me talking a bit about what happens on a cruise ship on those long sea days. For a start, in the case of the Pacific, it seemed to fray the tempers of a lot of people. I avoided the crowded areas of the ship – such as the pool deck, preferring to sit and read in a shady corner of one of the side or back decks. I also avoided most of the organised activities, as deck quoits, endless quizzes and bingo are not my thing. I did enjoy the art classes and, having brought my quilting I joined an informal group of women who met each sea day in one of the lounges to sew, knit, crochet and chat. On the next leg of the journey – towards Bora Bora – we had a craft show to display work done on board and my quilt-in-progress and several of my charcoal drawings were included.

At the craft show one of the delightful German passengers introduced me to a German woman who spoke no English – and told me she was writing a blog about interesting people on the ship and wanted to interview me with an interpreter. Being a publicity mad tart with a negligible German readership I was only too happy to oblige!

Possible Writerly Inspiration

As the only land I saw in this leg of the journey was Papeete by night – not very exciting – I’d turn instead to the ship itself and the long Pacific crossing

• Stir crazy cruise passengers turn on each other in a spontaneous and senseless orgy of violence
• A passenger misses the final call and the cruise ship leaves without her, leaving her stranded on a Pacific island where no one speaks English
• And of course the Agatha Christie option – a passenger disappears. Have they fallen overboard? Jumped? Or are they hiding? Where and why?
• A woman assumes a new identity on a round-the-world cruise, claiming to be a judge and an international socialite. Who is she really? How does her story begin to unravel? What is she hiding? What is truth and what are lies?